This morning, after waking up late then showering and shaving, I proceeded to intentionally mess my hair before putting on distressed jeans and a t-shirt.  Then I dropped my iPod into one pocket and my cell phone into the other and slipped my messenger bag over my shoulder, walked downstairs, put on my cool shoes and aviators and ran to catch the bus.  I took the subway to Queen West in downtown toronto and grabbed a bagel and starbucks on my way to the open concept office I work in at my job in a small but cutting edge advertising agency.  Was I listening to Jose Gonzalez and Sufjan Stevens on my iPod?  Of course.  Did I read and post blogs?  Clearly.  Did I eat a salad?  Not even worth asking.  

Can someone take me for a ride in their pickup?

Jerry Falwell makes me mad.  Really mad.  I don't even know much about him.  I know I disagree with most of the stuff he is vocal about, but I could never cite a specific instance he said something that really pissed me off.  Then I saw an ad for a "christian thriller" called, wait for it, Escape From Hell.  As far as I can tell its a low budget action movie where an attractive man and woman go to hell, realize its bad, find jesus and probably get married.  I could be a little off, but that's not the point.  Jerry Falwell had this to say about the movie "Four stars! If this doesn't get a non-believer to think about life without Christ, nothing will..."
What do you say to that?  This man is still one of the most important faces of Christianity in the States.  I don't really want to talk about how many different ways the statement is wrong, but what concerns me is that the more I look at the face Christianity presents to our culture and the people who represent Christ to North America, the more connections I can draw between them and the religious leaders of Jesus' day.  I struggle with whether in working against this in my own life I should distance myself from them as 'a brood of vipers' or somehow express disagreement but understanding with these brothers and sisters in Christ.  Sure, I can't see in Christ in them, but I'm not looking very hard.  But I can't shake the feeling that if Jesus was here now he would go after them just as hard as he went after the Pharisees.

I've found a new show.  It's called Dead Like Me, on showcase.  It's really weird, and the first time I watched it I thought it was stupid, but its starting to grow on me.  I think a big part of it was that the lead guy was so eerily familiar, the kind of actor I've seen in maybe one or two movies from a long time ago, but I liked him and I really needed to remember who it is.  Today I think i figured it out.  He's "Anigo Montoya" from the Princess Bride! how awesome is that. 

And to finish off the movie theme (every good piece of writing needs three points) the teaser for transformers is siiiiiiiiick.  They've even got the original guy who did the optimus prime voice back.  Apparently the only other big thing he's done is Eeyore.  Fancy that.

I think things about myself, and I've started to test and investigate those things.  That I think.

For instance; I think I am the kind of person who should wear flip flops.  I grew up wearing flip flops, but have not owned a pair for years.  I couldn't quite figure out why I don't wear flip flops, but I thought it might have somethign to do with them being uncomfortable.  So now that I have a steady income and need of sandals, I thought it would be a good time to test my flipflopiness by purchasing a flip flop with a denim thong and thin soles, then taking them to a music festival for a weekend as my only piece of footwear and walk around in them all day, sometimes for sizeable distances.

I think if I'd gone into engineering like I'd planned to I would have been able to figure out a better way to test my hypothesis.  As it is, the whole thing proved inconclusive as I got mild blisters, but my feet were comfortably cool.  I do know these stylish footpieces were a steal of a deal at 29.99. 

I also think I should be a dog person.  I once took care of a dog for several weeks.  I hated that dog.  I remember one time going over to take it for a walk and standing at the front door peering into the dark house to see that the dog had knocked over the toddler gate keeping it in the kitchen then wraught havoc on the owner's house inlcuding tearing to shred multiple kleenex boxes and their contents, and was standing guard at the front door peering into my soul through the window with eyes blazing crimson and barking like a hound straight from hades.  I'm not exagerating even a little. 

Since then for the life of me I couldn't understand why someone would sacrifice the time and expense (not to mention the dignity of picking up something else's poop) to raise somethign that would never be able to converse with you or take care of you in your old age.  Yet, people are sometimes really incredulous when I tell them I don't like dogs.  So I thought maybe I've let one bad experience and seemingly unshakeable logic taint my perceptions of dog ownership.  So now I'm spending three weeks living at my friend's house and taking care of her two cats. 

This isn't as dumb as it sounds.  I also took care of cats as a kid, and never felt the animosity I felt towards that spawn of, well, probably a dog that was loving and friendly yet unfortunate in its choice of mate.  Anyways, the first few days were ok, but frankly, I've learned I'm not a cat guy.  I mean, I have to clean their kitty litter, clean up their vomit almost daily, their hair is everywhere, and with the exception of about 2 minutes of exciting unbridled cat rage every week where they try to tear each other's throats out, they really just sit around licking themselves until I'm doing something like reading or eating or typing my blog at which point they jump up on my lap/table/keyboard and purr as if it was their territory I was intruding on and I really should be paying them attention.  If I pick them up they hiss and if I give in and pet them they realize that I've lost interest in what I was doing and they've accomplished their mission and can go back to licking themselves and shedding in my clothes hamper. 

So I'm not too keen on pets.  Maybe fish.  However, I did learn that while I may not be a 'dog person' I'm definitely more a dog person that a cat person.  Dogs have personality and they aren't fickle.  I always get the sense the cats are judging me and gossiping about me like middle-aged women in a small town hairdresser's. "Did you see the pants he put on this morning.  Who does he think he is, Brad Pitt?  And who eats an entire box of wheat thins and calls it dinner?  no wonder he's single and living with a bunch of cats." "I heard he once dated a girl just to have access to her Super Nintendo.  He rescued the princess Zelda and never called her again." "Figures.  But what can you expect from a man who thinks the key to a woman's heart is 'sky's the limit, I'm buying' at Arby's and a Jack Black movie." 

Good thing they don't know about the time I took a girl to a really nice restaurant, and forget that I'd compeltely emptied my bank account the night before.  Or the time I took a girl to a bookstore for a first date.  Never take a girl to a bookstore on a first date unless she's already convinced your a genius and that's why she likes you and you head straight for the Victorian literature section.  A 1976 copy of the encyclopedia of modern military land vehicles is on the opposite end of sexy.

I tried to watch Robin Hood prince of thieves today (yes its 2:30 on a friday) and it is really bad.  I mean Kevin Costner is a terrible actor, and he manages to bring down even great actors like Alan Rickman and Morgan Freeman.  Making Morgan Freeman suck is more difficult than solving advanced calculus or saying no to Mike Gowing's deep brown eyes, but somehow Kevin Costner does it.

I watched Meet Joe Black last night.  That's an awesome movie.  I'm still perplexed by why Brad Pitt was given the ability to actually act along with looking like Brad Pitt, and I got neither. Even if I just got Brad Pitt's abs, or his ability to use a Caribbean accent.   Or to meet Robert Redford or Angelina Jolie or the cast of Ocean's Eleven.  Not Jennifer Aniston though.  Maybe Jennifer Garner.  Definitely Natalie Portman, but I've never seen them act together.  I haven't seen Where the Heart Is, so he could be in that. 

Have you heard about minjas yet?  if not you're way out of touch. 

You know what's crazy.  I just read 1984 again.  No, that's not the crazy part (haha, Jon reading? That IS crazy.) jackass.  It's far more depressing than I remember, so I don't suggest you reading it again, however, what is crazy is that a lot of the ideas in that book are now materializing.  It's kind of like the book should have been called 2014, or 2006.  First, flatscreen tv's are no everywhere (outside buildings, in elevators), as are hidden cameras.  How long before flatscreen tv's have hidden cameras?  can you say telescreen?  More importantly, the principle of doublethink is now a reality.  Watch this.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmHm0rGns4I

Did you catch the snippet in there that was really scary.  About the 50%.  What is up with that?

Crazy americans.

If you haven't heard of either minjas or wikiality then you probably have heard about this over the top coolness either.

I went to my cousins wedding on Saturday and it was awesome.  It was the second in what looks to be a long line of Scottish themed Sinclair weddings out in the Caledon highlands, with kilts and a celtic band and kontra (irish/scottish/country) dancing and fireworks and then a big campfire with six guitars playing folksongs until 3 in the morning. 

When I got back into cell phone coverage area today another saturday unfolded itself in the form of voice mail limit reaching messages from some friends. 

Note:  The following facts are all true.  Only the names have been changed to protect the inebriated.

Message 1[2:15p.m.]:  (in a miserable and completly unidentifiable accent)  He-llo, mr. Sinnnnclair?  My name is Felipe Calzone and my number is 555-5555. 



very original. 



Message 2[8:30pm]:  Hey Jon its Felipe.  We're going to Bert and Ernie's near Kipling.  I know you had a wedding today but if you're back come and join us.


Message 3[9:47pm] Jonnnn! Don't go to Bert and Ernies unless you want to hang around 3 old italian guys winking at you awkwardly and drink crappy beer.  We're going to Joker. No, Joe's.  No wait um.... come downtown.  Jonnnnnnnnnnn

Message 4:[ 11:32]  JONNNN!!! you ##@*!*(!.   It's the @#$# Felipe and we're waiting for you hear at the $W@%R# Joker.  Weddingssuckmangetdownhere!!! Jon.  Jon.  I love you man. No for serious I love you.  And here's robert:

Jon.  Jon I miss you baby.  I miss you.  Jon I love you, get down here.  Here's Daring:
 
Jo-

Message 5[11:33]  #$!@# Jon, i got cut off.  Jon I love you too Jon.  I love you like pi, no, like the #$@!@ square root of pi.  3.14 BABY!!!.  Jon you're like the letters we use in math, like an imaginary number.  Jon, I love you like the letter e, or the letter i, or the letter pi.  Well pi's not rea-

Message 6[11:35] JONNNNNNNNNN.  Your message is very professional.  You're going to go very far in your success.  Jon.   Like I was saying I love you like pi.  (in background: 3.14! 3.14!)  3.14!  the square root is the @$#@!  Jon get your !@#$ down here. 

"Inbox filled"

I hope Bono didn't call today and invite me to dinner with him and natalie portman. 

To leaf fans far and wide this year was a disappointment to say the least.  Basically everything Mr. Jr.  did last offseason was either a mistake or ruined by Pat Quinn.  Originally I thought it was all Fergies fault, but the more I think about it the more I blame Quinn.  So Czerkaski had a rough couple games.  Surely he's more helpful to our offense than Ondrus?  Quinn even played Belak as a forward for a few games (The man has 7 goals in 8 seasons).  Quinn simply could not adapt.  And Jeff O'Neill, the star winger who became a star disappointment.  I checked the numbers and yes he got half as many goals as three seasons ago, but he also took half as many shots.  Which would likely mean he got half as much ice time.  Again, he was not playing up to his potential, but who's fault was that? 

Quinn was a great coach, but the man's time was done and thankfully even sundin and Aubin couldnt' salvage the season so problem areas were recognized and addressed.  In my opinion the Leafs only had a few things to fix this offseason:

Offense
Defense
Goaltending

And, of course coaching. 

Personally, my offseason plan would have looked like this.

1.  Sign Patrick Elias
2.  Wa-hoo!

Luckly Johnny's a little more pragmatic. Lets start where he started; coaching.  Fergie moved Paul Maurice up to head coach.  Not only is Maurice a proven head coach, he knows a lot of the young players and might even be able to coach O'Neill back to his former performance.  Coaching potential: B+

Goaltending.  Aubin proved he has what it takes to be a solid back up.  Personally I think Raycroft was a great pickup.  For less than 2 mill you're getting a phenomal talent.  And he really wants to play for toronto.  and he's going to wear the number 1.  On its own, given his last season, the move doesn't look great, but that's when we get to...
(Goaltending potential:  A-)

Defense.  My biggest problem with signing McCabe was that though I believe he is a solid top line defenseman, he and Kaberle both loving playing offense, and would be far better with big stay-at-home partners.  So Fergie pulls his best move yet and grabs two of the biggest and one of the best d-men right off the bat, setting the tone for the next 36 hours of a defensive signing frenzy.  He might have overpaid a little for McCabe and Kubina, but getting the right guys was worth it.  Not only will these 4, all used to massive ice time, provide great defense they'll also give an ideal environment for our many defensive prospects to learn how to play at the top level.  I think colliacovo and kronwall will be a solid third line, and you can start bringing up prospects when injuries begin, and maybe even trade some of them.  Best of all, its a great situation for Raycroft, making his job easier and giving him a chance to regain his confidence.  Unless Maurice gets bitten in the neck by whoever infected Berg/Belak, we should make a huge jump from 5th last in goals against this season.  A defensive focus leafs is something we haven't had in a while.  Defensive potential: A  That only leaves...

Offense.  Crap.  My plan doesn't look so bad here.  To date Fergie has signed one forward free agent, and it was the only signing I didn't want: Antropov.  Antropov was a Quinn player, he doesn't belong in the new game, and we definitely don't need another young center.  we have 3 with more talent and potential(Pohl, stajan and wellwood).  Plus Sundin, and potentially Lindros and Allison.  Oh well.  Maybe we can trade him and some prospects for a winger.  That being said we still need either anson carter, brendan shannahan or samsonov to round out our top line with o'neill and sundin.  After that everything looks, well, ok.  I think we set the record for quantity of mediocrity, we've got like 7 third line players.  For the first time we're really light on experience, so again trading antropov and pohl maybe for a guy like Gary roberts might not actually be a bad idea, if it doesn't hurt our cap room.  Then you're second line could be Lindros (sign him, not allison) steen and roberts.  Third line Tucker Stajan Poni.   Fourth Kilger and two of Wellwood/Wilm/Suglabov/Pohl/Antropov.  And through Ondus in every once in a while as a shout out to Quinn.   Offensive Potential: B. 

Or trade everything for Patrick Elias.  Offensive Potential: B-ooyah!

I saw Superman Returns last night. All I'm going to say is that you should be like Mike, if my name was Mike.  So see it. 

I had a unique experience at the theatre.  People started clapping before the movie started.  No, not in anticipation, but because one of the trailers we saw.

Hot diggity. 

I was getting depressed the other day.  About movies.  For the last few summers there have been gems like Old School, Wedding Crashers and 40 year old virgin.  But this summer looked bleak.  Vince Vaughan in a romantic comedy? Owen Wilson animated? In and of themselves, I had no problem with these, but were they supposed to get me through the long, hot, laugh-needy months?

Then I went to see Nacho Libre.  I hadn't heard great things but I was desperate.(If you like your movies REALLY stupid you may enjoy it).  But then came hope in the most unexpected place; the trailers.  First was a nascar movie with Will Ferrel, as a southern racer named Ricky Bobby who convinces himself he's paralyzed.  His sons are named Walker, and Texas Ranger ("Eat your beans Walker, Texas Ranger").  And as an added bonus Owen Wilson has a comedy coming which looks to really challenge his talent, he plays a bumbling loser.  And then today I saw a preview for an indie movie with Steve Carrel in a VW van. 

All is right in the world again.  Robin Williams is even making another mediocre thriller. 

I got a sweet job offer today.  My boss is Scottish.  She moved here when she was a kid, so no accent, but really what more could i ask for.  And the office is right at queen and john st.   Oh, and the actual job rocks.  Props to Cas for the hook ups. 

To reward myself for this sweet job I went shopping.  I bought a whole bunch of new Spider-man's.  In the last one Spider-man takes off his mask at  press conference.  This may not sound exciting to you but it blew my mind.  I've never descended so far into geekdom to be eagerly awaiting the next issue, but I have officially devolved to that level.  Can they actually do that?!! I figure he's got to change his mind and explain it away or something. 

The cool part is (don't get your hopes up here) that the comic book shop is a block from my new job, and the guy who runs it is awesomel.  I hung out with him and talked superheroes for ten minutes.  I was practically in heaven.  Now, I know that all of you who were secretly in love with me (Dr. Otis...) have just vomitted due to the sheer amount of geekery, but Spider-man is a significant part of my life and you're just going to have to accept that.

Matt recently told an excellent story about a little boy on his blog.
While I wish I could one up it I can't.  You'll have to ask Cas Ward about that, because she's sitting on a whopper.  But in retelling both of their stories as my own I came along another, which I will now relate.

A friend of mine's father is an ob/gyn in toronto.  He recently had a couple in who had been unable to get pregnant after trying for several years.  They were both from the middle east and had immigrated five or six years ago to Toronto, where neither had any family.  They met and got married about four years ago.  The doctor ran all the tests and could find no signs on infertility. 

However, through talking to them it emerged that this couple, who had clearly never discussed this issue with anyone, had been going about the business the WRONG WAY.  Yup.  That's exactly what I mean.

As they say, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. 

But it's not.  The world can be such a depressing place.  Read the headline of this job posting. God help us.